Setenta y Nueve

I hate the next thing I'm gonna say, but here it goes:

It appears I am one of those people that doesn't know what they want. 

For my birthday, my mom wished : "Whatever your heart wants the most"
Which I think is the best wish anyone can give. But it made me realize that, she, who knows me the best, doesn't know what I want the most. And then I reviewed my whole circle of friends and it appears they don't know either. Nobody knows me that much. And I don't get it because I feel I am transparent. 

I started thinking about what I want, and of course, I thought about all that material stuff I would like [[ my Taurus side ]] I thought about being skinny, I thought about finding love [[ which was my first guess ]] but then I remembered those times I had it and still something was feeling missing. Not missing but I remembered those car rides home and how I had everything I wanted at my hand, literally and I felt something void inside. I would reply to myself that I was already missing the future missed, but I don't know.

The green light is there, waiting for me to grasp it.
And figure it out what it means