I wrote this about a week ago, as a response to a video that questions our relationship with makeup. I loved the result. I know I have talked about my relationship with makeup before but I would like to keep this a war chant, sort of speak.



To me, makeup is a way to express myself. Its a way to be different everyday, if I want to. To let the world know that im different. That im a force to reckon with. Some days it will be the eyes, some days, the lips. Some days I wont wear a thing and it will be fine too. But its fun to have this blank canvas and paint it different everyday, and be able to make mistakes and improve and find a mix and match and gain confidence. It shouldnt be this way, but we know how the world is, and I dont want them to be only looking at my weight or my relationship status or my career. I would like them first of all, to see me and really look at me. 

But the most important of all is that I dont wear makeup for the rest of the world. I wear it for myself. And that is the only reason I need 

Eleven

You've made a fortune over the years. A lot of people would be living it up, buying houses in Hawaii and the South of France and filling them with Picassos. That's obviously not your thing, so what does your money do for you?


I like to have money to buy books and go to movies and buy music and stuff. To me, the greatest thing in the world is downloading TV shows on iTunes because there are no commercials, and yet if I were a working stiff, I could never afford to do this. But I don't even think about money. I have two amazing things in my life: I'm pain-free and I'm debt-free. Money means I can support my family and still do what I love.

Stephen King. 

Ten

When you feel like someone is not being as thankful as you would like, or hoped. or maybe they don´t recognize how valuable you are. Or you feel like they are taking advantage of you, the normal response is feeling bad about it. Being sad, feeling cheated.

You have nothing to feel ashamed of. You were doing nothing wrong. You gave yourself with the best intentions. And if someone fails to live up to it, its on them. The shame should be on them.

And Karma will avenge you.

Eight

Me contenté con el mundo.

Resulta que las canciones nuevas se oyen muchísimo mejor en vivo. Nada que ver con el disco. No hay estruendo, y el beat de la batería predomina más. Ahora sólo tengo que configurar el equializador para que le suba al bajo y a la batería y le baje a las guitarras cada vez que quiera oirlo! FML 

¬_¬ 

Six

Tengo 30 años, y hasta hace dos semanas me di cuenta de que tengo problemas con la intimidad. 

Lo que me tiene aturdida en cierta forma, porque tengo fama de contarle toooodo a todo el mundo. Mis pacientes saben tanto de mis enfermedades como yo de ellos. Es una situación rara.

Pero, me he dado cuenta de que con las personas con las que debería tener más intimidad ( parejas sobre todo ) nunca dejé ver mucho de mi misma. O de las cosas que uno le cuenta a sus parejas: sus miedos, problemas, etc etc. 

Siempre pienso ( en esos momentos ) que cualquier cosa que yo pueda decir es aburrida y monótona, y no quiero abrumarlos o aburrirlos. Pero creo que hace daño con el tiempo. ¿Como van a sentirse más close to me, if I dont let them? 

Saber que todo este tiempo yo era de esas personas y no lo sabía

Three

I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm 

To feel connected, enough to step aside and weep like a widow.

To feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain 

To swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.

Two

Hace 7 días exactos tuve un día horrible. San Valentín, en viernes, sin nada de interacción social. Es una fecha que si de por si me pone mal, en circunstancias adversas me pone peor. Justo un día antes terminé un libro que me devastó totalmente   [ Eleanor & Park ] y todo se acomodó para que yo tuviera una crisis nerviosa. La cuál llegó el domingo.

La ansiedad me estaba asfixiando y como buena mujer en mis treinta, sali corriendo a la heladería más cercana, a comerme mis sentimientos... acompañada de mi iphone y mis audífonos.

Oh man, I had forgotten the feeling.

I had forgotten how awesomely sane I feel when the music is blasting loudly in my ears, while I walk and the cars pass me by.

I´ve missed this so much, I can´t wait to start doing this again, everyday.

I just hope im not that fucking lazy

One

Sentada en la sala de espera, con los ojos cerrados, y con la orden de no abrirlos hasta nuevo aviso, escucho el mundo pasar.

Personas llegan, se saludan, hablan. De repente tengo tanta curiosidad, como no tenía en mucho tiempo: ¿como serán? Suena a una señora mayor, ¿tendrá cabello canoso? ¿tendrá lipstick? 

Im not ready to not see at all.